The Winners of the 2nd Quarterly Contest...REVEALED!

I was a lot underwhelmed in the showing this time, and I blame myself. Usually I hype these a little more, but work has cut into my leisure time considerably, and thus the Circus has suffered.

That being said, I have three winners here, all of whom had something to say:

FIRST PLACE WINNER:  William Frisk

Pete,
I first ran across you and your blog on boardgamegeek and have read much of what you posted over there.  I've also seen your creations for games like Castle Ravenloft and overall think you are a great supporter and contributor of our great hobby.

However, there are several articles of yours that I take offense at.  Seth Hiatt of Mayday Games, as you know, is a publisher of games and sleeves.  In this economy, people are looking to save money anywhere they can, even with Crokinole boards.  Seth has provided people with an opportunity to get a mediocre board at a decent price.  I think people know exactly what they are getting when they order Mayday.  A reputation like Seth's isn't just built up overnight.  Heck, I've been waiting six months beyond estimated release date for a pack of sleeves to arrive.  Sure, I could have gotten a package from FFG and had it now, but I can't help but smile knowing I saved a $1 once those things come in.  But your articles blasted him apart and pretty unfairly I might add.

The point is, you should have known what you were getting, just as the customer who sent you your board should have known.  And just like the customer that you were to forward your board onto.  All the replacements boards are of comparable quality because that is what you ordered.  I don't go to McDonald's and order a 99 cent burger and tell them I need to exchange it because it didn't have a ribeye in between the buns.  Because that next burger they exchange it with is going to be exactly like the first.  Sure, maybe they threw on an extra pickle because I complained, but there will not be a ribeye in that sandwich.

I know the next time I play on my Mayday Crokinole board and the disc flies off at an almost impossibly irregular angle from a screw protruding through the wood, I'm not going to be mad.  I saved $25 by buying that thing, and watching that disc flying through the air is a reminder of that.  And that makes me happy.

Thank you so much for this opportunity, and I look forward to more of your reviews and general witty banter.  You are the king shit of board game review blogs, and I'm not just saying that because you asked me to.
SECOND PLACE WINNER: Matt Dalrymple

Hi,
I really like your reviews as they are well written with many salient points.  I 
unfortunately was sorely disappointed with your review of Merchants 
and Marauders. It is a pirate board game and there was a lack of pirate lingo 
and expressions in your review which I found upsetting.

If you are unfamiliar with pirate lingo and expression, I thought to provide a 
few examples as to how to 'pirate-ify' your existing review:

After reading the rules, I was absolutely impressed with the game. 
To:
After I do be read'in dar rules, my timbers were shivered by this here game 
yaarrrrggghhhh!!!! 

The object of the game is to get ten glory points, and these can be through 
killing and pillaging, performing missions, verifying the veracity of some 
rumors you hear in port, or by having gold.
To:
T' object o' t' game be t' get ten glory points, and these can be through 
killin' and pillagin', performin' missions, verifyin' t' veracity o' some rumors 
you hear in port, or by havin' gold.

If you fail, you cry a little on the inside and must discard that rumor as it 
proved to be false, but if successful, you reap a reward, a glory card, and an 
elusive glory Point, bringing you closer to victory.
To:
If ye fail, you cry a little on t' inside like t' scurvy dog that you 
arrrrgghhhh and must discard that rumor as it proved t' be false, but if ye be 
successful, you reap a reward! Pillag'in and plunder'in yer way to a glory card, 
and an elusive glory Point, brin'in' you closer t' victory as the true sea dog 
son of a whore that ye be. arrrgggggghhh!!!!!

I hope that these few examples will help you with any future pirate related 
reviews that you might do in the future. 

Thanks for blogging,

Matt
p.s yarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!

THIRD PLACE WINNER:   David Fits

Even though you review board games, my favorite article was:

The Sad Case Of American Mass-Market Beers

That was the first article that popped up in my head when I thought of your best article and I probably only say that because I agreed with every word in that article.

I`m just gonna re-post my comment from the comments section of the article, I don`t think anyone ever even read it because it`s an old article.

davidfits23 said...

Yeah, if you want a good beer, you have to go for the small companies or just go to a local brewing company and have a pint there. Nothing like a beer on tap!

That`s pretty much my whole opinion on the article summed up in a shitty sentence! But I stand by it.

As for board game articles, my favorite was the Castle Ravenloft one, that one actually made me go and buy it. I was very skeptical about buying any other board game other than Heroscape, I looked at a ton of review and yours was the one that pushed me to get a board game. If that doesn`t say your board game reviews are good, I don`t know what does.

I still like the Beer one the best, too bad Pete. The only thing I didn`t like about Ravenloft was that the rules were more vague than a half-blind old man telling you directions on the road. Some advice on the internet got me playing the game correctly though, now I love the game. I still have to give your scenario a go, however Castle Ravenloft is collecting some dust because now I have 8 board games, because of you. Thanks Jackass I have a board game addiction now.

Keep  up your writing style, other than Tom Vasel's videos (yes, only videos)
my girlfriend loses interest in all other game reviews. She claims, and
I concur, that your style has a smooth flow, is very enticing, fun to
read and informative. We really enjoy lying in bed and reading through
them, laughing and discussing as we go along, so thank you for that.
Just throw in a few more Fuck's and Shit's. Yes, I want more swear
words, not less. (this ain't Heroscapers.com muthafucka)

p.s. I better not get subscribed to gay porn, I swear...

A big round of applause (clap) for these comments. I'll expect an email note back from you proving you actually read this article and that you're not just a carpetbagging bastard. Or something like that. Games go out this week!

Keep your eyes peeled, Superfly Circus Faithful, because I have several brand new, never-been-seen in the US, games to review for you! That, and some oldies but goodies that you've probably never heard of but will want by the time I'm done!